He'll Never Be the Man You Need - Avoiding
the Straight Boy Craze
It has happened a million times. You see him
across the room. He's perfect. He's an Adonis and you just have to have a
taste of his pleasure. However, once you get to know him the truth is
revealed… he's straight :(. Thus begins the process of conversion -
his conversion. For whatever reason, and try as we might, we often
fail in our attempt to convert straight men. However, even if we do succeed
victory is not very satisfying, or long lasting, as often their interest
is only mild curiosity, and in the end they almost always go back
to their girlfriends.
Why do we keep putting ourselves in these
situations? We know these boys do not really want us. We know in the end
they will be straight because they are straight - yet we try and convert
them anyway, even if it means losing their friendship in the end. Our hearts
are broken and we have no one to blame but ourselves. But, still the enticing
excitement, and the challenge of the straight man, is just too much
a thrill for us to turn down.
Every gay male I know (that is not in a committed
relationship) either has a straight guy he sees from time to time or one
that he's pining after, or who has been a past lover - but who basically
wants nothing to do with the gay male in the long run. If the relationship
isn't going to last then this implies the sex was worth the heartbreak, but
that's not the case at all!
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The straight boy craze is not a new concept. It's been happening since the
inception of homosexuality. Of course, back in the days of the Ancient
civilizations it was more widely accepted for gay males to have male lovers
on the side, yet they were still considered, by today's standards, to be
straight.
So, is our fascination of taking on straight
male lovers a reflection of the past or is our own selfish way of informing
the world that we will have whom we want and do what we want without a thought
towards our family, friends, and anyone that the straight male may be involved
with? Or is it just the challenge, as in the 'playing hard to get' game?
Unfortunately, as a gay male we are the underdogs - and if our past
indiscretions do come to light it is not the straight males who are blamed
it is the gay males who must suffer. We must deal with the consequences and
are blamed for the actions of both the straight male and ourselves. The blame
should not be placed in one area. He was just as guilty of going through
with it as you were, and that should not be forgotten.
So, again why do we do this? Why do we look
for straight guys in particular? Why do we find a challenge in what we call
"converting" them? Is it to flatter our own ego? We are just sooo incredibly
hot that we converted Mr. Straight! No matter what the reason, it isn't
productive for either of us, nor is it truly acceptable. In fact, many look
down upon such conversions. The entire gay male population is the one that
is blamed, rather than leaving individual blame. Instead, the gay male initiated
therefore he must be the one to blame. However, society so quickly
forgets that it takes two.
The best advice for any and every gay male -
whether they want to hear it, or not - is simple logic. Leave the straight
boys alone. Focus on finding a meaningful relationship, as opposed to one
that is built - not only on lack of trust - but on lack of commitment, too.
In the end the straight boys are only going to use you for what you can offer
them. Once they have taken all they can get they will discard you as they
see fit. If you are not willing to accept this then perhaps you need to
re-evaluate your perception of relationships in general, and what being in
a relationship truly means to you.
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