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Handling
Your Man on the 'Down Low'
The term "down low" refers to men who are in
a sexual relationship with other males having a simultaneous affair with
their female counterparts. Being down low is a syndrome that needs to be
addressed carefully. Men who are on the down low rarely feel the need to
disclose their bisexuality to their female partners. An increase in the number
of men on the down low has led to a proportionate increase in the HIV positive
cases. In such cases, the sole responsibility of relationship's survival
lies on the shoulders of the female partner. If you suspect your man on the
down low, the first step is to talk about it. Your concern might reduce to
a mere temporary fantasy of your man. The feelings hidden deep inside the
closet can come out without any prior behavior notification. Most of the
women assume that they are somewhere responsible for the altered sexual
preferences of their partner, which is not true in majority of cases.
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There is a cause of concern
for wives and girlfriends in such a situation. You need to practice safe
sex because the risk of sexually transmitted diseases is higher while having
sex with a man on the down low. The term "down low" has been used by gay
men who have not yet come out of the closet with their real identity. On
the other hand, it is also used to express the sexual relationships between
men who try to be present themselves as straight by having an affair with
straight females. As a supportive partner, you can take your man to a
psychologist, i.e. if he agrees to. Most men try to keep their preferences
hidden in their mind only to be revealed in front of their chosen pal.
Researchers also highlight the point that if coming out had not been a big
issue, there would have been a reduced number of people on the down low.
As a partner of a man on the down low, it becomes
your moral responsibility to explain to your partner that there is a narrow
difference between a gay and a bisexual individual. A gay cannot be aroused
by a straight female whereas a bisexual would easily be. It's all about your
sexual perceptions. It can be difficult for you to understand that your husband
or boyfriend wants you and another man too. You need to remain calm and assure
yourselves that there are other straight females who faced a similar situation.
As for the fear of losing your man, let him follow his basic instincts.
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