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When
He Can't Get It Up: How To Deal With Impotence In Your Gay Relationship
In the mythological gay world every man is an
Adonis. His perfect looks, winsome personality, stellar fashion sense, and
amazingly large phallus are the icing on the cake. As for the latter, it
is perfect in length, girth, and - of course - it is hard at every moment
of the day. While this is a lovely thought it is not reality by any stretch
of the imagination.
Once we wake up from our dream we realize not
every man has what is considered the "perfect" penis. In fact, the vast majority
of men have something they claim to not like about their male sex organ.
Whether it is too short; too long; too small in girth; too wide; too crooked;
too straight; or has the quality that is typical for a minute man, no two
penises are alike.
So, while realizing that gay males have just
as many problems as straight males do in terms of aesthetics as well as
functionality, the issue of impotence is important to consider. No man wants
to imagine he cannot have sex. However, it is a reality for some men, gay
or straight. Whether they are old or young does not matter. Impotence can
embarrass even the manliest of men and make him ashamed to even attempt to
have sex, let alone initiate it.
Impotence is nothing to be ashamed of. It is
a legally diagnosed medical condition that can be caused by many different
things. The inability to have an erection usually has nothing at all to do
with a man's desire for his partner. When a man gets a hard-on many things
work to make the penis hard. Everything starts in the brain. As a man becomes
aroused, for whatever reason, the nerve impulses in the brain react, sending
messages down through the spinal cord. As the message is being sent the muscles,
arteries, veins, and fibrous tissues are responding to the arousal. This
may include physical touching, though erection almost always occurs mentally,
making the man hard prior to stimulation.
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In an impotent man something isn't quite
right as the message tries to make its way from the brain to the penis. The
most common cause of impotence stems from a problem with the penis. Arteries,
veins, tissues, and muscles working together to sustain an erection may become
damaged in such a way that the message cannot accurately flow from the brain
to the penis. The damage to the internal phallus can occur through a variety
of diseases and surgeries.
Many men with diabetes are impotent. Other causes
of impotence include prostate surgery; MS (multiple sclerosis); kidney disease;
vascular disease; atherosclerosis; excessive alcoholism; drug abuse; medications
(such as high blood pressure medicine, antidepressants, and antihistamines);
spinal cord injuries; groin injuries; liver problems; and bladder problems.
Additionally, doctors believe impotence can be caused by psychological factors
like stress and anxiety, or fear of hurting their partner. Likewise, sex
can be personally physically uncomfortable or painful for some, and this
fear of pain can cause impotence.
The treatment for impotence is well known. Men
can take drugs like Viagra to sustain an erection. These drugs have given
men (that might have been previously afraid of attempting sex) a chance to
lead healthier, happier lives. In essence, erectile dysfunction medication
has opened up a whole new world to these men who believed that the world
had long ago forgotten them.
So, what can you do if your partner becomes
impotent?
First, be calm! We all know how it is to overreact
when we think the end of the world has come. There is hope lurking right
around the corner. You need to remember this. Your partner is going to need
your encouragement and reassurance. Make sure he knows you are willing to
stick it out with him during this difficult time. He's most likely feeling
incredibly self-conscious, so the reassurance will be appreciated.
Secondly, you need to discuss his options with
him. Impotence is going to affect both of you - whether you want it to, or
not. You will need to discuss what course of action he plans to take. Chances
are, he'll want to do something about his impotence, so convincing him to
do something isn't going to be a major issue. Just make sure he knows you
support his decision no matter what.
He has many options. The first option is to
go to a doctor to discuss his problem. He may, or may not, want you to go
with him. Ultimately, this will be up to him. However, you probably will
be considered needed for his moral support. The doctor may look for the cause
of impotence. If it is physical, the physician will discuss ways of which
treatments are available. If it is psychological the doctor may refer your
man to a psychologist.
He will receive treatment regardless of whether
he goes to the psychologist or not, but if he does go he may find the key
to sustaining an erection on his own again. So, depending on the cause of
his impotence he may also be attending regular sessions with his psychologist.
Along with treating the physical cause via disease
control or treatment, other options for treatment include psychotherapy,
surgery, and erectile dysfunction medication. The success rate for treatment
is high, and whatever he decides should be supported fully. If you positively,
absolutely cannot handle his impotence then you need to make sure you leave
before you become entangled in the situation. Yet, impotence is very treatable!
Why would you want to throw the love you two share away when the odds are
the situation is temporary, and not permanent - and you will be able to resume
your normal sex routine once treatment is sought?
Impotence is a problem that affects millions
of American men, both straight and gay. Being gay doesn't mean you need to
leave your man just because he's impotent. In the end, waiting for treatment,
and supporting this endeavor, can only strengthen your relationship.
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:::::::::: ::::::::::
Dear Friend,
I have a confession to make. There was a time in my life when the thought
of being intimate with another man was the scariest, most overwhelming thought
imaginable!
I wanted more than anything else to make love to a man - but I was terribly
worried that whatever I did would be all wrong!
I desperately wanted to know what makes a man tick - not just his body, but
every part of him: his mind; his wants; his needs; his soul - and yes, I
also wanted to know what it takes to satisfy him sexually.
The funny thing about being a gay virgin is this: even though you're a man,
you really have no clue how to satisfy another man. The thought of going
to bed with a man can be nerve-wracking when you don't know what to do. Many
men are naturally shy about this, and understandably so. After all, books
on gay sex aren't available on every street corner!
I Want To Tell You My Secrets! Click
here for
more>
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