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The Men
You Need to Avoid
If you are one of those guys that have the unlucky
curse of picking up losers, you may be wondering if there is a foolproof
way to spot these type of men - the men you need to avoid - from across a
crowded bar. Unfortunately, it is usually not that easy! However, with just
a little practice you can quickly learn how to decipher who you need to
be rid of and who is worth their weight in gold.
As I'm sure you have already found out J, there
are quite a few different types of men that you need to look out for. Here
is a sample of the ones that are most notable.
The Internet Stalker
These men you will meet in a chat room, or on
a personals site. You correspond with them through a few emails - and
then it happens. You notice they start digging for more information than
you are ready to give. They want to know your address, where you work, and
other things that you normally would not tell an average Internet stranger.
If you do not tell him he becomes enraged - wondering why you think you can't
trust him. He may even try to get these things himself, and will seem proud
of himself once he does, as if he's showing you that you 'can't outsmart
him'.
Obviously, this person is potentially dangerous.
He may not specifically seek to harm you, though he can do much damage to
your life. If he knows where you work you could get calls to your boss, or
to you at work. He could even end up coming to your house.
If any of this happens it's definitely time
for some police intervention! Most areas have stalking laws, which state
that if you ask someone to leave you alone - and they do not - then
you can press charges. If you feel you are in danger with this type of guy,
you should definitely consider this an option.
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The Controller
This one is sometimes hard to spot right off
hand. He's sooooo sweet. He loves you more than anyone ever has. He's your
dream man. Smart and funny, he wants to keep you all to himself. Unfortunately,
that is a very accurate description. He doesn't seem interested in your friends,
and he doesn't want you to spend time with them either - translation: spend
time with only him. He wants all of your time and if you are unable
to give it he will end up getting violent. He can become jealous and
hyper-vigilant to your every action, as if the simplest of things that you
do have ulterior motives. He constantly accuses you of cheating, or he may
end up threatening to leave you. He can be mentally abusive, verbally or
psychologically abusive, and - often times - he may become physically abusive
as well. These actions are the controller's way of keeping you under his
'control'.
If you notice these behaviors it's time to call
it quits. No matter how sweet he may appear to be, or apologetic he may appear
to be, when he's not accusing you of things - please know that this behavior
is only going to get worse. His goal will be to alienate you completely from
your social circle so that you will be his completely, and should he ever
think that you are trying to leave him it could become worse than you could
ever imagine.
The Straight Boy
Ah, yes, the straight boy. You may know these
boys well. Some of them are on the football team and many of them have
girlfriends. Most of them claim to be curious, or completely straight, but
a little something from you is okay on the side. In the rare occasion they
will top a gay bottom. Usually these boys are out for a quick round of oral
sex with you - with you doing the giving, of course. This is always where
it ends… until they need a little more.
These men may not be the worst for you physically,
but mentally they are awful. Unfortunately, many gay boys fall for these
straight guys. They want to believe that these boys like them. Well, face
it boys, the straight guy might like your skills - but he will never love
you. Whether he is gay, or not, doesn't matter, because he will never take
the time to show you he cares. Instead, he will take what he can get and
then leave you to be alone - until he needs more. He's a user. You wouldn't
take it from anyone else, so don't take it from him. Besides, what are you
getting out of it?
There are many other men that may need to be
looked out for, but these are definitely three of the most notable. If you
notice any behavior in a man - behavior that you are certain you can't live
with - then it will be in your best interest to run the other way. You have
the ability to notice these things in the beginning of a relationship/meeting
when men are still a dime a dozen. So, if you're with someone, and you have
an uneasy feeling that he is someone you should be avoiding, then ditch the
crazy and head off to find something better. It's the least you can do for
yourself.
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